Summary

The overall aim of this article is to present the experiential elements of a non-dual experience and then to explore this experience in relation to a nondual model of human development.  The article provides a first person account of the nondual experience of conditional Nirvikalpa Samadhi. Nirvikalpa Samadhi is the formless realization of the inherent nature of reality or a state of union with undifferentiated Oneness that is the priorly and perfectly ascended source-reality.  The first person account is then explored and compared in the context of contemporary mystic Adi Da Samraj’s work. 

Wade Prpich M.E. Des., is an environmental professional with an insatiable passion for the knowledge of the mystics. He is also a student of nondual philosophy and psychology and is firmly committed to personal transformation. It is his belief it is imperative that the ineffable quality of spiritual experience/development is made comprehensible in everyday terms and converted into practical applications for the benefit of both personal and world development. 

Introduction

        For as long as I can remember, I have always been consumed by the search for understanding.  This has taken many forms: from the desire as a child to understand the concept of infinity when gazing at a star filled night; to the unrelenting yearning to understand what this ‘me’ is that defines my experience.  But ultimately it is to know and experience the nature of reality that has driven my search. Out of this search has arisen numerous experiences which have brought a clearer understanding of existence.  While such experiences are often labelled ‘spiritual’, I prefer to simply view them as peak (peek) experiences or glimpses of the inherent nature of reality.  In this article, I will provide a first person account of such an experience as well as the related events that both preceded and followed the experience.   The experience in question is the formless union with undifferentiated Oneness that is the priorly and perfectly ascended source-reality, or conditional Nirvikalpa Samadhi as it is known in Sanskrit (Adi Da Samraj, 1985, 2004a, 2004b).  At the completion of the first person account, the described experience of conditional Nirvikalpa Samadhi will then be explored and compared in the context of the contemporary mystic Adi Da Samraj’s  work.

Pre-conditional Nirvikalpa Samadhi

        Five years prior to the event of conditional Nirvikalpa Samadhi, my younger sister was tragically killed in an automobile accident.  The sudden and intense experience of death and permanent loss shattered my sense of self and the world view that had dominated my first 22 years of life.  To be leading a content and fulfilling life as an undergraduate student one moment and then the next to be find myself choosing a casket in which to bury my sister was a completely devastating experience. And then to touch death.   To kiss my sister one last time and experience the icy coldness of her cheek.   A coldness that utterly chilled my soul because within it I realized the true finality of death.

    While this event is not the catalyst per se that led to the experience of conditional Nirvikalpa Samadhi, it was nonetheless a world-shifting incident that permanently altered my path and focus in life.  To experience the finality of death and the subsequent agonizing and heartbreaking pain of laying a loved one to rest brought into question many of my presumptions about life.  With this questioning, my sense of who I was and my understanding of the mechanics of life gradually became tainted by uncertainty and despair.  Over a period of three years the intensity of this angst increased, until I was finally able to distract this perpetual state by throwing myself into graduate school. Unfortunately, my new studies were only a temporary diversion.  My anguish persisted and was the underlying texture of all my experiences.  A reprieve from this state had to wait until I ventured abroad for the first time.  A trip to Europe was the temporary antidote that I needed.  Thus, it was on this trip that the fog of my sister’s death began to dissipate.

        I had enrolled in a study abroad program offered by my graduate school.  Essentially, I signed up for a semester of architectural-based study in Barcelona, Spain.  At the time, I knew nothing about architecture but I had a deep sense that this trip would be pivotal in restoring my previous natural and harmonious state of being.  Realizing this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, I planned to start my trip with a four week whirlwind tour of Europe.  To be frank, I felt a bit apprehensive about traveling alone through Europe as, at that time, Europe was a completely foreign land to me.  I spoke English and could only vaguely recall the French I was taught in grade school.  I was also unsure about my ability to independently navigate through a wide range of cultures.  However, aside from these tangible concerns, I held few, if any, preconceived notions about the lands I was about to experience. 

        I arrived in London and spent the first few days gaining a sense of orientation.  Once the nervousness of being alone in a foreign land dissolved and I gained the confidence to handle whatever the trip could throw at me, I relaxed and began to experience the sights.  To my surprise I realized I was unable to judge what I was seeing.  Being outside of my cultural context for the first time placed me in unfamiliar territory and I found I could not pronounce anything as good or bad.  I was forced to experience everything just as it is.  Although I was not cognitively aware at the time,  I was freed from the relentless burden of judgment.   Soon I uncoiled and began to feel true peace for the first time since my sister’s death. I was able to carry this state through to the conclusion of my studies.  All the while I felt a constant opening in my being and, as a result, I became more kind and embracing to all the people and situations I encountered.  A sense of freedom and genuine compassion pervaded my moment-to-moment experience.

        Unfortunately, this state of peace did not endure as I had hoped.  Soon after my return to Canada, I was struck by culture shock.  The pressure of reintegrating into my former life and culture collapsed my unrestrained sense of freedom and cast me into the depths of despair.  Complete hopelessness consumed me.  I was plagued by the question: “What is the meaning of life?”  As I could find no immediate answer, a full blown existential crisis ensued and I was forced to stumble through the darkness grappling for meaning.   I struggled predominantly with two questions; the first, “How is one to find meaning in a world where everything is relative?” and; the second, “Why does everything in life appear as a duality?” I searched voraciously for answers but nothing emerged.  Without concrete meaning in my life, I began to question the point of living.  Not in the context of suicide but as a resultant inquiry into the persistent hopelessness that I was forced to endure.  Fortunately, during this period I was able to find solace in Leo Tolstoy’s (1987) "A Confession" as it documented his existential crisis, which was verbatim to my own.  However, it was several months until I was able to find reprieve from my torment.  Then in a flash my search ended.

Prev - Next >>