After awakening we can be in a place of what Byron Katie (2007) described as a perpetual state of gratitude or what Adi Da (1978) pointed to as an ecstatic place of divine humour as we transcend the need to continue in independent form and now realize nothing is necessary.  But puzzling for many of us even after awakening is the fear that can keep knocking at our door.

We lose our gratitude, humour and let go surrendering as we once again get caught up in the fixated state of fear. Even after “awakening” we can spend much time managing, escaping, and resisting our fear. And yet, fear is still arising and we feel defeated by fear. As Adyashanti (2006) described, we get to a place of constantly saying “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t……” But, we do not let this wisdom in. We keep on trying to manage fear. One day though, a person realizes the truth of “I can’t” and gives up managing truth, as the realization there is nothing that can be done is felt. All of a sudden the realization “I can’t” is accepted and one allows him or herself to be totally effaced to fear. Nothing can be done, and a person dies to all separate self strategies and just sits there in the truth of “I can’t.” And here is the grand paradox, by realizing there is no escape and sitting in fear with no strategy, and doing nothing, the truth is revealed. As Gangaji (2005) explained, fear is found only in the resistance to its existence, because when one sits with fear one finds “Fear is energy. Fear is space, Fear is the Buddha. It is Christ’s heart knocking at your door” (p. 175). By letting go of all of our strategies to manage, resist and escape fear, and sitting in fear, and doing nothing, fear is revealed as nothing but our spacious awakened nature. So, dying to fear, sets us free.

As we move into our third issue, and prepare for our second international conference, working with issues after awakening such as fear becomes a huge invitation as so many of us are implicated by the need to keep working on our issues after some form of awakening. Whether it is moving from a partial awakening to a more full awakening, getting caught in being attached to the nondual, still having some emotions and stories to work through or still finding oneself caught in “grabbing” at our separate self identity and survivalhood, the key is for each one of us to still keep working on our issues so that we don’t get caught in some obvious shadow issues that stunt our day to day abiding in nondual being. Let us not make the mistake of so many before us, who have announced their “awakening” or “enlightenment” to be perfect and refused to keep working on issues as they arise in day to day life and got into terrible binds of denial and idealized transference. Let us keep on with our authentic embracement of working through our issues as they arise in day to day life.

References

Adi Da (1978). The enlightenment of the whole body. Middletown, CA: Dawn Horse Press.

Adyshanti (2006).  The five truths about truth. Campbell, CA: Open Gate Publishing.

Gangaji (2005). The diamond in your pocket. Boulder, CO: Sounds True.

Katie, B. (2007). A thousand names for joy. New York: Three Rivers Press.